A Heretic's Guide to Nothing

The wind woke me early, its haunting hymn howling in the predawn darkness. I’m staying in the purple house on the mountain, enjoying the quiet and solitude. Quiet and solitude awaken my creativity, along with a big cup of coffee.

Some time between meditating and writing my morning journal, a book title comes to me. Book titles are so easy! I could write a book of book titles! Here's today’s title: A Heretic’s Guide to Nothing, by Carrie Klees. Or Caroline Klees. Or C. H. Klees. A 10 second internet search finds no such book name on the front page of results. Copyright pending. Fanned by caffeine and enthusiasm, I brainstorm some possible ideas.

• Some stuff about how beliefs are not required for yoga. Yoga is a guide to live a supreme experience beyond the bonds of belief: smooth, stable, grounded, open, easy, courageous, and ultimately (with lots of practice) free. Free of the burdens that come with a personality, including the fear-based beliefs about who/what we think we are.

• A part about how our development in an unhealthy culture creates that Cult of One (the personality/character we’re playing), in which our dogma, rules, expectations, and beliefs limit our experience rather than enhancing it. Much of the foundation of our personality is a fear-based belief system based on inadequacy, poverty-based consciousness, original sin, competition, judgement/comparison (the thief of joy), etc.

• There’s plenty that can be said in praise of nothing, and how recognizing our internal nothingness is the perfect balance to the noise and activity of the personality. The uniting of the known and unknown, the seen and unseen, all that jazz. How we spend so much time & effort avoiding our innate essence of sweet, complete nothingness, to our own detriment.

• And about the power of the heretic. The heretic has been perceived as the ultimate threat to organized authority throughout human history. Full power lies in liberation and self-realization. When we assume full authority over our selves, no one else can control us. Socrates was put to death for his heretical teachings, such as, “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” And “The unexamined life is not worth living.” And—shockingly! — “Know thyself.”

As I'm scribbling down random notes, negative thoughts reflexively pile on. Hello, fear. “This is another pipe dream.” “I’m never gonna follow through, why even think about it?” “Another project I’ll start, only to peter out because I spend every night stretching, watching tv, stuffing my face, and wasting the precious moments of my creative opportunity.” Such lovely, encouraging beliefs!

Wisdom reminds me that it doesn’t matter if I write a book or don’t write a book. What matters is I try. She reminds me that the least and the most I can do is try. Receive and respond to inspiration and act.

Wisdom reminds me to enjoy this sweet moment thinking interesting thoughts. That's all there is.

Wisdom reminds me I’m just playing. She reminds me that there’s no point, if I’m constricted by the Cult. She reminds me that my practice is Open.

As my fingers flow on the keyboard, I recognize that I’m playing with the Supreme version of myself (the wise, courageous, creative, inspired, fun version of me), in the fullest moment imaginable. There is no better outcome.

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 “Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing'. Between the two, my life flows” Nisargadatta Maharaj

“And now I make one more appeal, my dear brothers and sisters. Watch out for people who cause divisions and upset people's faith by teaching things contrary to what you have been taught. Stay away from them.”  Romans 16:17, New Living Translation

“Faith means not wanting to know what is true.” Friedrich Nietzsche